making love to my soul

just when all is collapsing the devil gives you his hand and frees you. the soft touch of his hate-like love itself yet more intense. codeine awareness of the beauty of our biology. sunday blues were my only reality until I choked it up and spat it writhing on the floor. liquid bliss wraps me in warmth and freedom from fear. shortlived though it may be (I know pain is my reward for finding this treasure) I live it like it is all there is. Through this phosphate friend I am mine. If only for a short time before I am given up to the wrath of God. I live for this dopamine rush. If I ever live at all.

This is me today. Will I be me tomorrow?