Tuesday, and weekend sickness continues. Drugged cinema dreaming eases me through.(Pearl Jam is here to explain how I feel-thanks)
Yeah my brothers- rain and heavy colourless skies are no more. I am a cinematic fanatic, doped up on morphine and clonazepam, hiding in my cool darkness, smiling inanely at 30 second flashes of edited trash, scratching the lovely itches that spring from my inner warmth and content.
I saw my counsellor today. Maybe rehab is in order. I just need a break. This year has been hard and I can't continue abusing myself like this and expect a normal fulfilling life. 26 and it's time for the teenage angst to be a thing of the past but it's stronger, more virulent than ever.
I've been a slave to my introversion for too long.
Peace my people,
I love your comments, they really make me feel happy in these silly hazy times.
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posted by Merlin at 9:28 PM
2 Comments:
I just read your earlier posts and stumbled upon this trenchant quote: "Escape through the vacuum of your mind. Sobriety is the deepest dream, the nightmare that we are forced to swallow…"
I feel similarly daily!
You write marvelously, man.
Hey Merlin
I truly hope that you can find better days. Embrace your angst and you'll be a slave no more. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about - I died 2x's in '04 & had amnesia for most of '05, I'm just now coming to terms with it but haven't been brave enough to blog about it yet. Remember the Goo's: I wish everyone was loved tonight And somehow stop this endless fight Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days.
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