Nail in my hand, from my creator.

That's just how it feels. Iron driven through weak flesh to make me a slave to the demands of what he has made. I tried and I failed today. when there's a light, there's a light to trick you. Trick you into a false sense of understanding with the world. I had just decided, taken the leap of faith to the point where I could actually see a future for myself. A house, a career a group of friends who gave a shit and now it's all been pissed up against the wall.
One fail is all it takes to start slipping. The lack of failure up to this point has been a miracle. Now all I know is that neither am I academically bright enough to do this course but, as I have known for a long time, I am far from being socially competent enought to cross the finish line with anything more than a 'thanks you came'.
I'm not angry at the moment-tho I was shaking with failure before- but that may be because of the booze and xanax and zolpidem I just took. If you can't beat 'em join 'em.
I really don't know. I'll keep trying to pass this course, for whatever reason, to put a smile back on the faces of my much maligned parents.
I'm ordering 30* 30mg tabs of morphine sulphate tonight and I can't wait to get them! I have no money but these things are priceless. I kid you not. you should get some if you can. But I doubt you can,HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! All fucking mine, mine, mine, so FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah, this is how I am
get high, or go home,
adios
CUNTS