Hungry soul, greedy heart...

I'm alive still, and it feels alright. I've hit myself hard these past few days and I suffer like every monday. Little to do, but everything needs doing. I'm glad alcohol was my only friend this weekend. I understand his moods and feel tomorrow is a new day, and I will be ok.
I saw old friends and laughed till it hurt, drank till the pain was a distant memory and saw happiness on faces, unrestrained by inbred repression and fear. I made memories that will feed me into the shadowy future that awaits me. Everyone is so scared, we have lived for so many generations and still there is no answer. The selfishness of each generation has meant that no legacy has been left with which to understand ourselves. We are left to walk the road without light, without company and crippled by guilt, loneliness and anger. It's so futile, this journey, but if you can forget this just for a minute then you will find the happiness you search for. Pictures, memories of tearless joy. These are so important. Don't forget the good times they're all there is.