I'm not sick, but I'm not well...
Ooooooooh! been feeling hollow all day-well until recently,teehehe!was falling aleep in meetings, fucking up all my responsabillities. \i left really early and hit the pub-got a few ciders and some cough medecine. then took about 5 zolpidem tablets-LIVIN THE DREAM! too tired for the gym- all of this because I got fucted up last night on loads of shit. I'm a giro playboy, surfing a wave of incompetence and disassociation/ who is society? Oh SHUT UP you pretensious twat!
Bring your disease to my house and I will make you better. a bit of this , a bit of that- but big boot up the bum in the morning after because I'm no good social worker on a hangover.
Trot trot trot little piggy the butcher knows you're gone. leg it you fat shitheap or your wobbling flesh shall be my meal-hungry as I am.
my stomach burns, burns from abuse nd beer. My eyes dried from sleep in lenses, skin itching from a codeine overload. I do my best to spread my love and read my fellow bloggers' bloggs. I love all you guys it's just that \i feel it he a bit shit to be honest. the keyboard is bending at right-angles-crappy wanks.#I'm exhausted-peace ou my peeps
posted by Merlin at 10:42 PM
3 Comments:
Excellent song citation! Your post was intense. Were those your eyes at the top?!
Just remember: you are on the cusp of recovery. Rest and relief are within grasp. Please don't give up. You ARE worthy.
BTW: Thanks for the birthday wishes. Had to work today, so no celebration yet... Weekend might be brutal. 90-degree heat + errands + sleep deprivation + no air conditioning = misery.
Anyway, have a good night. Keep me updated.
hey cheers Tumuli- nice to be appreciated. I love that quote too-sums up the abuser's predicament really well.
fortuntely not my eyes in the picture!
I think birthday's are a waste of time to be honest;as Jerry Springer said once "what's the point in celebrating your birthday? err.Well done for not dying for 365 days!" that kind of jive.
you know you said that I am nearing the top of the hill and the sruggle with drugs and it will be all ok from then on? well drugs have been a part of me for so long I'm not really sure I wanna give them up. I know I need to if I don't want to end up as an unemployed bum with no fiends, but in a way they ARE my friends. who hasn't had friends that have stabbed them in the back-it's like that with me and drugs.
This is really unchartered territory ahead. and I'm not too proud to admit that I'm well scared.
Peace out dude. you're blog rocks.
Don't be scared- know that it will be hard, know that it will hurt, know that it will be a challenge and know that you will survive it. And know that you are worth the struggle and the fight.
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