Starting all over

I was reborn today. The sun is shining- not for the first time, but it felt like something i'd never known. I'm back in town after a narcotic induced daydream. I have shit to do. God I'm so boring when
I'm listening to Jack Johnson-aaa-how unusual. great however. shower and dreams of smoking on thai beaches, reading trash happy in the knowledge that it doesn't fucking matter. nothing fucking matters.
However good it gets in my little chameleon shell/life/home town it'll never be that good. I fell asleep crying last night. I'd spent the day sleeping at my desk trying to revise. Today I woke up-and it's different. Now I have an urge to get high on coke. funny huh? I'm def a downers guy but I'm never the same. never. never.
One day I want it all-the black sleep and the comfort, another I need experience; our silly, pointless shit excites me and I want to make it my own. I'm a funny fucker and I'm glad I have myself to share this with.
I am the only person that has to live with myself.