Wednesday, August 30, 2006

When everything feels like the movies, you bleed just to know you're alive.

Yeah life drops in for a welcome home knees-up and all I see is a fanstastic stranger, skipping and playing with my board games. Mad monkeyfucker if ever I saw one. I'm taking my time to aclimatise to the new addition to my world and I think that we could become friends.
I'm no stranger to making amigos but they tend to treat me like shit, kicking me in the head, shit in my mouth and throw me through the window. Don't get me wrong we've been hanging out for a long time now but I'm not taking their shit no more.
Fuck 'em all, the weeds growing through my toes, the stain of urine too old to count, the loud buzz and shake of paranoia.
I'm alive and clean and I'm so happy I could kick this thing.
I could actually kick this thing.
Peace to you headcases,
Bring it on, there ain't nothing we can't handle.
Merlin X

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Here, but for the grace of God...

I'm so nervous, surrounded by tales of tragedy and death, the community shrinks and grows- a self-perpetuating breathing organic strength holding together only those that want helping.
Need is not the necessary necessity; Desperation and fear, heartbreak and fatality- rock bottom is the answer to "How?"
Today my recovery is my choice, I can sink further or I can swim. I can change or I can die. I'm torn and open and the fucking monkey won't leave me be.
The fucking monkey won't leave me.
Won't leave me be.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Growing inside. Fools gold in grey skin.

A bird without wings feet stapled head beaten down from proud posture.
Just for today.
Heavy burden drilled firm into raw scorched shoulders.
Just for today.
Tearing myself apart.
Just for today.
Just to reconstruct and face the cannons.
Just for today...

Charcoal heart without fire, weeping eyes without water, anger without feeling, hurt without healing.
A walking wound, ripped open to bleed, to feed the audience for their foray into feeding frenzy.
Veins pumped with polluted vaccination, strapped down and fighting I surrender to the dark.
With baited breath I long for light...

Humble heart, thirsty soul
pour water on me.
This desert life suffocates me
for God's sake pray for rain.